Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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