We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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