Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize