So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize