im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize