I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize