just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize