its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize