1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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