Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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