Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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