I have demons in me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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