I never want to see another naked old woman again.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize