you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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