Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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