do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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