I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize