can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize