why didn't you poke me back
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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