The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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