man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize