i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize