Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
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