saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize