wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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