Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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