You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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