Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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