I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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