Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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