The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You have to summon your inner elephant
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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