My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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