And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize