Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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