It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
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