Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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