I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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