A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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