Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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