Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
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Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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