I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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