i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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