she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
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So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize