How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize