i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize