So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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