youre lurking in front of me
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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