just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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