This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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