piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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